The Driving
What better competition to follow drinking then driving? Of course, the Currans wait until the next morning because drinking and driving is something none of the three have ever done.
Mike Saunders, on the other hand....
The only serious way you can have a driving competition is with a Mario kart style series of races. The First Race will be on College Currans Turf, then Current Curran’s, then High School Currans. Each race the winner will receive 5 points, 3 for second, and 1 for third. At the end, the Curran with the most points wins!
Mario Kart, Competition in it's purest form.
The Currans all must use a vehicle that they have at their current disposal. High School Curran chooses his 1989 Buick Park Avenue. Current Curran drives his Nissan Versa. College Curran borrows one of his friend’s car for each race.
The Three Currans show up at the starting line for the first race.
Race 1 College Curran’s Course:
The competitors must start at the parker apartment complex in Hamilton NY. From there they must travel to Hamilton College, 20 miles away and then back to Colgate as quickly as possible.
No Curran in his right mind wants to go to Hamilton College, but just like College Curran so many times before, they have to.
The gun goes off and all three Curran’s take off. College Curran is using Luke’s Honda CRV for this race because he figures it will best brave the winter conditions of all his friends’ cars. He gets out of the parking lot fastest because of a move he learned from Luke, driving right across the grass.
They speed downtown. High School Curran is in second at this point with Current Curran right on his tail. As they get to 12B, College Curran has a very big lead. He knows this route well and plays all the speed traps perfectly. Current Curran gets very frustrated because he’s stuck behind High School Curran’s Buick and finding it impossible to pass!
The race is all but over as College Curran makes the turn around. He’s got well over a half mile lead on the others at this point. The only person who could possibly compete with him on this course would be Nate, but that’s a whole different update.
High School hangs on to his big car block strategy for 2nd. After one race, College has 5, High School 3, Current 1.
Race 2: Current Curran’s Course:
1 Loop around the Baltimore Beltway
It’s a 50 mile loop with lots and lots of traffic. The three competitors start on the exit for route 40 West and head north towards Towson. High School and College both get out well, but they head towards the left lane, the supposed fast lane. Current Curran laughs as he weaves in and out of the 2nd and 3rd from the left. Sure, the left lane is suppoussed to be the fast lane, but Maryland drivers have a nasty habit of being completely unaware of their surroundings and love to putter along in the left. Current Curran gains a huge lead and never gives it up. High School Curran pulls off another 2nd place. His disregard for the condition of his car allowed him some riskier moves that paid off. College Curran, who was driving Adam’s accord and being extra careful with it comes in 3rd.
Through two, all three currans are tied at 6 points a piece.
Race 3: High School Curran’s Course
Any route you want to take from 20 Briarwood Drive to the Target on the other side of Saratoga.
This seems straight forward enough, but there are many routes one can take to get across town in Saratoga and the preferred one can depend on lots of different factors.
The Currans are informed that the race will take place on a clear June day. It’s a Saturday, so traffic in Wilton will be intense.
College Curran elects to go with Jake Krong’s Achieva for this event. It was going to be Hanlon’s Command Vehicle, but it wouldn’t start.
All three tear down Geyser Road. Standard rules of the road have applied throughout the competition, but no version of Curran has ever received a speeding ticket, so none are worried about police pulling them over.
The routes begin to differ when they get to route 50. College Curran shoots through the park. “I’m only in Saratoga so often, I may as well see if anyone’s running down the bikepath.” Coincidently enough, he sees Darren Webber and Danielle Coon running together. He honks and they wave.
High School Curran elects to go Broadway. “I’ll see who’s out today” He thinks to himself, “People have been loving this competition. I’d love for the town to be able to cheer for their home town hero as I drive down Broadway.” They are able to cheer for their hero as he drives down the boulevard, but only because Funny Cide is running at Belmont Park that exact moment and they are all watching the simulcast.
Saratoga's real hometown hero
Current Curran bears right when he gets to Broadway and heads up Lake Ave. The traffic is moving. The most direct route, he figures, will be the fastest one, despite the slower speed.
It’s tough to tell who’s leading, but College Curran has the least distance to go…until he hits Union Ave. It’s a parking lot.
What is this! He exclaims, I thought it was June, why is there so much traffic!
He then sees a sign…The Spa Catholic Horse Show is going on! This is bullshit! He’s all but out of it now as Horses are walked across the street from the stables to the race course.
High School Curran also is having problems. Somehow he has hit every single red-light down Broadway. One would figure that they’re on a time delay so this wouldn’t happen, but for some reason it still does.
College Curran cruises past the old dump and the hockey rink and into the target parking lot.
I couldn't have done it without you Versa!
Final Score:
Current Curran - 11
High School Curran – 9
College Curran – 7
Standings through 4 events:
High School Curran – 1
College Curran – 1
Current Curran - 2